Thursday, May 7, 2009

Dear Brett,

Despite the fact that it is obvious you are a wishy-washy, attention-craving drama queen who retires more times than Celine Dion, have a little dignity and just hang 'em up. Well, hang 'em up and mean it this time. But I suppose that as long as you've got this "itch" we're going to have to put up with the media training cameras on your front door and spending half of SportsCenter talking about you, and playing the "will he or won't he" game every year until your arm falls off. There's a reason none of us really believed you when you retired the second time.

You have earned your spot in the Hall of Fame, most likely. You have a Super Bowl ring. Go back to Mississippi, catch a few fish, sip some iced tea and enjoy your millions of dollars.

Fans of the NFL (sans Vikings)

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